"You made me do it"!

"What? Have I got a hand up your arse and making your lips move?
"No, I can't make you do something. I can't make you feel something. I might be able to evoke something in you, provoke you, but you're responsible for what you do. You! No-one else! "
How often that comes back to me, or variations of it, and how much better I feel for understanding what Bryan meant and learning from yet another lesson.
Instead of reacting to an event, a person - recognise the feelings, accept them (yes, play a fantasy horror film in your head for a few seconds) and then - only then - respond and act.
OK, I don't always get it right, and there are still situations that set me off, but I feel Bryan there, giving me the evil eye when I need it.

Bryan on My Mind

What do i do to pass the time?
When Bryan is on my mind
How you made me laugh and smile
Comes back to me for a little while

How im going to miss your radiant grin
when I feel with my journey im on a win
I remember the late summer evenings
seeing you, me trying to delay my leaving
as I always loved the late glow of evening sun
and although it was counselling, it was sometimes fun

as I ranted about the obscure world outside those doors
and you d keep quiet encouraging me to speak more
learning what’s in my control and what is simply not
remembering things from the past I thought id forgot

As I talk with people that live in denial day by day
I think of you often and wonder what you d say
I draw my strength from the gift of an eagle feather
and the painting of the house, created by Heather
Oh Bryan you may be gone physically but I still feel you
here and around whenever I need to see you